Stereotypes at my work.

I got a job at a credit card security company last week. I'm training right now and have been jumping from person to person for one on one time. If you know what I mean. Anyway it feels a little like a movie how hardcore some of the stereotypes are here.

Fuck, having a real job is odd.

Cop Guy.

Heavyset, spiky hair and always exaggerating, Cop Guy is always down to brag about how knowledgeable he is. He went through police academy but didn't end up joining the force because his wife wouldn't let him. He had one experience involving having a gun pointed at him when he was a cadet and talks about it endlessly.

He's what's called a "Scan Tech". That means that he explains the security scans that Security Metrics does. He thinks he's hot stuff knowing about open ports and cgi scripts, but I heard him asking how to install Firefox on his home computer the other day.

Also, he's named after a character in General Hospital.

Motivational Seminar Kid.

22 and ready to make money, Motivational Seminar Kid has a plan. He's always going to seminars involving business and money. He carries a binder around with him all the time containing quotes, papers and dark secrets.

By his desk is a sheet taped to the wall with quotes about paths of least resistance and business metaphors.

Money is success to him, but he doesn't want to be too rich. A cap of 20M is fine for him.

32 Year Old Guy Who Always Sounds Like He's High All The Time.


Almost Everyone Else.

Wears PHAT skate shoes and shirts from ether Hollister/A.E. or Skin Industries. Backwards hats are the norm and ping-pong is a way of life.

So that's a brief survey of the people who I work with. Everyone is pretty nice and tech company's are pretty boss to work for, so it could be worse.


  1. i don't like that when i comment it says i got dirty. what the hell is a 'grease copter', anyway?

    your job is dumb.

  2. I really like that it says you got dirty. I'm smiling very big right now.

    Landon wanted me to start a website called "Grease Copter.com" really bad before he left, but I never did. I'm not really sure what his deal was with that. I'll ask him when I write him.

    No, your job is dumb.

  3. Your job is to keep me entertained at work. It pays in friendship and cookies*.

    *Not really.

  4. so if i don't sit at home and e-mail you all day we're not friends any more?

    lame, man. LAME.

  5. As long as you're not sitting at home and emailing anyone else. . .